What To Do When You Stop Gambling
What do you do if you are married to someone who is caught up into gambling? He or she might even be going down the downhill slope of gambling away your marriage, family relationship, your home and everything you own and treasure.
Plus, as with other behavioral and substance addictions, a person's readiness to change or stop a habit like gambling can take time to develop, and many individuals may be starting from a point of. If you want to stop gambling right now, the first step begins by stopping to carry money. This includes credit cards, debit cards, access to bank accounts, checks, loans, etc. If you want to stop starting right now, block all access to money. Carry only a very small budget for food each day and thats it. (absolutely no more than $5). The sooner a person receives treatment for a gambling addiction, the easier it is to stop the progression of the illness. The problem is where to find gambling addiction treatment. Facilities offering inpatient and outpatient care might not be available in all areas, but by calling, we can help you find the closest available treatment resources. As you do this depression may increase and so I recommend building in healthy mood boosting activities and behaviors right from the beginning of recovery. There are trained professionals who know the path out of gambling and depression. Please find one if you feel trapped or worried about how these two things may be linked in your life.
What To Do When You Stop Gambling Casinos
If you have not yet come across the service offered by GamStop, and you want to quit gambling online, then It is time you considered reaching out to them for they offer a very simple yet highly.
What if YOU are the gambler who is caught up in this type of behavior?
These are issues we’d like to address in this article that we pray can help you in some way.
When Gambling is Destroying Marriages
We know this is a tall order and that we can only scratch the surface of the subject. But because of the seriousness of this problem, we know it’s important to do what we can to help those who are overwhelmed by it all.
We don’t want to approach this subject as if we are the experts here at Marriage Missions advising you. That is because frankly, we have very little experience in this area of marriage. We do, however, personally know of several couples that have/are dealing with this issue. But that is more of a distant view, rather than an up close and personal one. So we will facilitate within this article, the opportunity for others who are more experienced to share what they have learned.
First:
Lets look at gambling in general to give you information you might find helpful. We’d then like to address the person who is married to the gambler (and other family members and friends). And then we’ll address the gambler, as well.
One of the “truths” concerning gambling that we didn’t know was brought up in an article titled, “Gambling’s Impact on Families.” It is put together by Ronald A. Reno. He wrote:
“A University of Nebraska Medical Center study concluded that problem gambling is as much a risk factor for domestic violence as alcohol abuse. Domestic violence murders in at least 11 states have been traced to gambling problems since 1996.”
Another article written by Ronald Reno (and posted on the Beliefnet.com web site) brings out the scriptural reasons why gambling isn’t something we should indulge in. He brings out the point:
“Jesus commanded, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself‘(Mark 12:31). Gambling, meanwhile, is predicated on the losses, pain, and suffering of others. For one to win at gambling, others must lose. For many, the ramifications attributable to their gambling losses are profound. Families touched by a gambling addiction are at greatly increased risk for such negative outcomes as divorce, bankruptcy, child abuse, domestic violence, crime, and suicide.”
Besides that point, the article brings out others as well, with scriptures to support them. To find out more, please click onto the link below to read:
• GOD AND GAMBLING
What Can You Do?
After you recognize that there is a gambling problem going on within your family and that gambling can grow in its negative impact, what can the family do about it? Marriageuncensored.com had an interesting article posted on their web site that brings out the important point:
“There’s the failure of the non-addicted spouse and other family members to respond appropriately and helpfully to the situation. Now, don’t get me wrong on this. I understand that the person with the addiction is the one who must ultimately take responsibility and make the changes to get healthy. If you are the supportive spouse, I am not suggesting that you are responsible for the addiction or the havoc it’s wreaking in your home.
“I am suggesting, however, that the way in which you respond can either create an environment that will help your spouse beat their addiction, or it can contribute to and compound the problem. As the partner who is one step removed from the addiction, you will have a huge impact on how this will turn out —for better or worse.
“The tendency of many in this situation is to tiptoe around the addict and their habit. But while letting sleeping dogs lie may get you through the day, it will not bring about the results you desire long-term.”
Gamblers and the Denial Factor
In a web site article, “Tiptoeing Around Addictions” Dr. Dave Currie, with Glen Hoos, made the point that “DENIAL” is one of the “unhealthy ways that “people respond to their spouse’s addiction.” They make the point that the addict tries to deny that there is a problem. But:
“Their spouse, family and friends often get hooked into it as well. The spouse in particular may deny the extent of the problem. They may try to convince themselves that their marriage is strong enough to bear up under this pressure, and that the issue is better left alone.
“You’ve got to be willing to let go of the security of that fantasy, and face reality. The first (and often hardest) step is admitting you have a problem. The issue is there whether you admit it or not; accepting the truth puts you on the road to recovery. If you deny the depth of the problem, your spouse will have no compelling reason to face it either. If this is the case your situation is never going to improve.”
Enablement Concerning Gamblers
And then there is, “ENABLEMENT,” which is “denial taken a step further.” As Dave Currie and Glen Hoos write:
“It’s covering for the addict, protecting them from the natural consequences of their actions. Some examples:
• “The boss calls and asks the woman why her husband isn’t at work today. ‘He’s in bed, sick,’ she answers… neglecting to mention that the sickness is due to a killer hangover incurred the night before.
• “The wife’s gambling addiction has strained the family finances to the point where the bills can no longer be paid. Instead of facing the real issue, the husband arranges to skip a mortgage payment and opens yet another line of credit.”
Facing the Truth
It’s tempting to do this because it seems easier to do this than to face the truth. However, as it’s pointed out:
“What you’re doing when you cover for the person is removing their motivation to change. Maybe he needs to get fired to wake him up. Maybe she needs to go to the store and have her credit card rejected when she’s trying to buy groceries to realize there’s a problem here.”
“Instead of enabling, you’ve got to intervene. Whether that’s a one-on-one confrontation or some kind of a group intervention depends on what you’re facing. But you need to come to the point where you sit down and say, ‘Okay, we have a problem here. What are we going to do about it?'”
Abandonment
Another way that a spouse and family may tiptoe around addiction is that they turn to “ABANDONMENT” as a way to cope.
“They cover for the addict one too many times and have come to the point where they say, ‘You know what? You got yourself into this mess… now get yourself out of it!’ They wash their hands of the situation and leave their spouse to deal with the problem alone.
“It’s understandable that some people get to this point. After all, it’s their spouse who chose this road, and paying for their bad behavior gets old very fast. Nevertheless, if you’re in this position you’ve got to ask yourself how you want this to play out? Do you really want your spouse to get cleaned up and get your marriage back on track? Because if that’s what you want, you’re not going to get it by leaving your husband or wife to fend for themselves. They’re going to need your support and encouragement every step of the way.
Suppress the Urge to Blame
“Somehow, you’ve got to suppress the urge to cast blame and point fingers. Instead of putting the problem between you, you’ve got to stand side-to-side with the problem in front of you and say, ‘We have a problem. It happens to be your addiction, but it’s our problem, and we’re going to solve it together.’ What a world of difference from the, ‘It’s your problem… deal with it!’ approach.
“This is undeniably tough, especially if your spouse is not showing a willingness to do the hard work of recovery. However, don’t mistake support for softness. Supporting your spouse may mean confronting them, refusing to cover for them, and perhaps even separating for a period of time while they work through it. But it’s got to be done in a context of love and encouragement, and an attitude that says, ‘We will do whatever it takes to get you healthy and to put our marriage back on solid ground.'”
Now, it’s true that you may have been there and done that. But it’s important not to keep allowing this addiction to keep going on in your home. That is because it will continue to erode your marital relationship until eventually your marriage will be totally destroyed. There is no doubt that help is needed —desperately!
Flying Solo
“FLYING SOLO” is another temptation facing you in all of this. Dave and Glen write further:
“As in many other areas of life, pride can be crippling when it comes to dealing with addiction. Pride causes you to say, ‘We don’t need help. We can handle this on our own.’
“Most addicts require outside help to fully conquer their habits —and fortunately, help is widely available. Whether it’s Gamblers Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous —name the addiction, and there is likely a group to help people through it. And if there aren’t any groups for it, there are counselors, pastors, friends to walk alongside you. And there are helpful resources available that can really make a difference.
“You’d be wise if you reached out for help at this time, and not just for the one with the addiction. There are also support groups for spouses, friends and family of addicts. Talking with others that are on a similar journey can bring you strength in difficult times.”
Addiction Info
So, in our search for help for those who are being impacted by the negative effects of gambling upon their lives, we found the following to be something that you may want to use. The authors wrote:
“Because of the involvement of a family member, our hearts have been drawn to the Christian Recovery of Compulsive Gambling and Gambling Addiction. After doing considerable research on the internet on compulsive gambling and participating in the Recovery Process (Gambler’s Anonymous) with a loved one in a Support Group (Gamanon), we would like to share what we have found with all who visit this web site.”
To take advantage of what they offer, whether you are a family member, friend or someone who is dealing with your own gambling issues, please click onto the following web site link:
• IS GAMBLING A PROBLEM? Gambling Addiction Information
Something that would be good for the gambler to consider is written by Gregory L. Jantz. Please read:
• 14 QUESTIONS EVERY GAMBLER SHOULD ASK
Older Gamblers
And if you think that it’s only those who are younger that are having problems in this area of life, think again. The ministry of Focus on the Family put together a great series of articles. They are aimed to help those who are living out the years of “Midlife and Beyond.” They are betting their life savings away hoping to obtain more to live on in their growing years. To read the first of the series and then continue on to the other articles they offer on this subject, please read:
What To Do When You Stop Gambling Addiction
• GAMBLING AND SENIORS
We hope you have found this article to be helpful. We encourage you to “Join the Discussion” below if you have further help for those who need it.
Cindy Wright of Marriage Missions International wrote this article.
More from Marriage Missions
Gambling addiction is a horrible silent addiction that can become progressively worse. If you or someone you love has a gambling problem, an effort to stop gambling should start as soon as possible.
A severe gambling problem is usually progressive, and can become worse over time if not stopped. Slots gambling addiction, pokies, video lottery terminals (VLTs), and other forms of gambling are usually the worst forms of gambling. Many can become addicted in a very short period of time, and the financial losses can be devastating to say the least.
Gambling addiction can affect the gambler and his or her family in many ways. This addiction causes social problems, emotional problems, physical problems, psychological problems, occupational problems, family problems, and of course, financial devastation.
Problem gambling does not only affect the gambler and the family of the gambler, but can have consequences on employers of the gambler as well. Many have embezzled money to finance their gambling habit and have put companies in financial distress.
When you hear about people going to jail for a gambling addiction, it is usually a result of stealing or embezzling from ones' employer or even stealing from family members and friends.
Here are 5 reasons why gambling addiction can ruin your life and why you need to stop gambling now:
1. Gambling addiction can cause you to lose your friends and family very easily. Many divorces are caused by a gambling addiction and result from untreated addiction. A gambling problem creates tremendous social isolation since gambling seems to become the most important thing.2. An untreated and severe gambling problem can cause the worst anxiety and depression which leads to an incredible sense of despair. This despair can lead to gambling related suicides which are not uncommon. Gambling addiction has the highest suicide rate of all addictions, hands down.
3. This addiction can cause a lack of functioning in all areas of life, including work. Many people have lost their jobs as a result of a gambling problem. This can compound the financial devastation already experienced from the addiction itself.
4. Compulsive gambling can become all encompassing. The physical health of the gambler can deteriorate rapidly. If you are struggling with this addiction yourself, you may not be eating right, exercising, visiting a doctor, or taking care of your teeth. These physical problems can truly take a serious toll on health and the neglect of the body can result in very serious consequences.
What To Do When You Stop Gambling Losses
5. Financial ruin is a direct result of this addiction and gambling debts can become so huge and insurmountable that bankruptcy seems to be the only option. Debt from gambling can also result in foreclosures, loss of savings, retirement accounts, and maxed out credit cards. The financial fallout of a gambling addiction can last long past the time that the addiction stops.
What To Do When You Stop Gambling Winnings
These 5 reasons why untreated gambling disorders are just a few of the reasons why you or your loved one should stop gambling and return to a better, healthier way of life.
It is hoped that this article was helpful to you, and that you will do whatever it takes to get better. You will truly be happier when you stop gambling. You will have a better outlook, and more than anything, you will have hope again.